"Advice to Husbands"

My cousin sent this to me in an e-mail. I'm not sure of the original author (if you know, let me know). I thought it was hilarious though and worth sharing:

Dear friends,

It's important for us men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you begin to notice this, try not to yell at them.

Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. Let me tell you how I handled the situation with my wife, Amy.

When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Amy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets homefrom work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not a practicable alternative. Besides, I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for the dishes to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can, by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that 'they won't clean themselves.' I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging, I think, is complaining. For example, she'll say that it's difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys... we take'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her (if you know what I mean).

I like to think tact is one of my stronger points. And when doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. For instance, she had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for awhile. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me.

I know, I know..... I probably look like a saint by the way I support Amy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible and nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However guys, even if you just start using a little more tact and a little less criticism of your aging wife due to this article, I'll consider that by writing it, it was well worthwhile.

After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Good luck.

Signed, Bill


EDITOR'S NOTE:

Bill died suddenly on April 15 of a perforated rectum.

The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big
Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of
grip left showing, and a sledgehammer laying nearby.

His wife Amy was arrested and charged with murder.

The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty.

They accepted her defense that Bill, somehow, without looking,
accidentally sat down on his golf club.